“We are whip-lashed between an arrogant overestimation of ourselves and a servile underestimation of ourselves” – Parker Palmer
When dealing with any type of confrontation, we naturally become defensive. Think about our driving habits, someone cuts you off and then yells our their window at you (never-mind the fact that you cut them off 2 mins prior) you’ll honk, yell, call them a few nasty words and get really defensive. When that wall of defensiveness is built, it’s really hard to see any other side. If you were put in a room with the jack-a** that cut you off, you’d proabably just yell at each other and never resolve the issue without some sort of intermediary to help.
Divorce is very much the same way. When your partner hurts you, it’s very difficult to see things from the other side. You start to build that wall and sooner or later you find yourself in the middle of divorce proceedings.
After the defensiveness is in place, there’s something else that people naturally tend to do. We start to view ourselves arrogantly while in the same breath, fearful of our abilities to handle the future. This pride and fear in the same instance can be potentially damaging.
Keep a journal of your feeling and thoughts as you’re going through your divorce. This can potentially help you think through your feelings and hopefully help you deal with them in a more productive way. Divorce is hard for everyone. It takes work to get through it so you can start to build a brighter future for you and you family.