“We are whip-lashed between an arrogant overestimation of ourselves and a servile underestimation of ourselves” – Parker Palmer
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At the end of the day, you want to be able to look at your children and see confident individuals who are able to stand on their own two feet and enjoy their lives. If divorce is handled with this view in mind, the “divorce don’ts” will be easier to keep at the for front.
During divorce, the feeling of distress is a common side effect of any divorce – especially for kids, however, this very common emotion can develop into lasting emotional scares when:
- Parents have long and messy custody battles.
- One parent try’s to involve the child or expects him/her to take sides.
- One parent openly talks down or belittles the other in front of the kids.
The number one thing to remember when going through a divorce is: Don’t assume your children know what’s going to happen to them! In almost every case, kids find it extremely difficult to understand what’s going to happen. They might not automatically understand that they’re going to have two parents living in separate houses, or that step-parents might be involved in the future among many other things that happen during and after a divorce.
So, what could you do to help ease the impact of divorce on your kids:
Most people don’t realize that Marriage Counseling is not just about helping couples with marital disputes, but it’s also about helping children cope with their parent’s divorce. It’s important for parents to understand what kids are feeling during a divorce, and how to help children cope and work through their feelings productively.
A great quote we often hear is, ‘The only thing you have to fear is fear itself.” In fact the only thing you should fear is a lack of preparation and being caught by surprise. This applies to life in general and to divorce specifically – something most people are not familiar with and may be faced with.
It’s an interesting question because it doesn’t ask, “Why I believe,” just “What I believe.” This question tends to produce short, quick answers such as: I’m fair, honest, compassionate; or even negative thoughts like dishonest, hard to please, angry, etc. In any case, these are generally simple descriptions about our ‘perceived’ individual qualities. (more…)
Movies are a wonderful distraction from life. When I go to the theater for a good movie I get lost in the story. I find myself screaming in my head trying to stop a character from taking a wrong step or turning a wrong corner. And all this is used as a short little escape from reality – or is it?